Pee On It and Walk Away

They grow big on Old Dixie Lane

Without opposable thumbs and a tongue to make words, the dog relies on gentle biting, licking, chewing and her flexible body to communicate with me. Farina’s eyes and the expressions on her face are another way she makes clear what words she would say if she could talk. I look at her every day and understand that by turn she’s confused, angry, happy, impatient or maybe ashamed. With my opposable thumbs and all the words on my tongue, it’s usually me who can’t make himself clear, teed off and impatient that my words and gestures aren’t working and baffled at how a honey-colored bundle with floppy ears and big teeth has grabbed hold of my heart.

It’s slipped my mind where I saw it—probably on a Hallmark card for dogs—but being the dog person that I am, the words struck me as a damn good suggestion and I wrote it down. Here’s what it said: Handle every stressful situation like a dog: If you can’t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away.

Farina went flying out her door this morning, sights set on a squirrel in the backyard camphor tree. I couldn't see what she was bouncing up and down about until I looked hard into the leaves and saw perched on a limb a curved back and fluffy tail outlined against the sky. I brought out one of the two Red Ryder BB guns and took casual aim, not expecting to hit anything. A quiet puff of air, a distant thud and the squirrel went flip-flopping through the air and down to the ground. It rolled to its feet in a second and made a mad dash for the nearest tree with nothing more than a BB dent in its pesky hide. All too fast for the dawg.

Neighbor Randy is a dedicated fisherman and usually out in his boat three or four times a week. He brought over some fresh caught trout the other day. When I think of trout it’s mostly a fish about a foot or foot and a half long. The trout they catch in these parts are sea trout and close to three feet, salt water fish. Randy gives me long, thick filets of it that I batter in Louisiana Seafood Mix and pan fry. Can’t say it’s a Michelin star restaurant in Paris, France but it’s a pretty good supper.